Understanding the 5 Love Languages

Understanding the 5 Love Languages

| Kahdija Imari

On February 5th. I hosted week four of a room I began on the Clubhouse app, called “Sex in Relationships 👀”

We discussed the Five Love Languages:

  • Whether or not we see them as real and necessary self-descriptors
  • Whether or not we agree with what they say about us
  • Whether or not we use them as tools to understand our partner in intimate relationships

I noticed, as the conversation evolved, that most of the people on stage had some understanding of what the five love languages are and how they can be used in their lives.

For me, there were 2 major points that really grounded my understanding of how I can better myself in relationships going forward.

  1. Love languages can depict how you receive love but you must also know how you give or show love
  2. Conversations about your love needs are necessary to help build an open, honest, and transparent relationship in which you feel loved\

Love languages can depict how you receive love but you must also know how you give or show love

It's one thing to know how you like something to be given to you. But it's an entirely different thing to know how you typically give things to others.

Does what you want match what you give?

Sometimes this is not the case. We may think we do a great job at it, but we really may not be doing this well.

Conversations about your love needs are necessary to help build an open, honest, and transparent relationship in which you feel loved

Let's be honest... none of us are mind readers. So, why is it that we sometimes expect our significant other to know what makes us feel loved even when we haven't told them the specifics?

As much as I wish I could be swept off my feet by my knight in shining armor, I also know that this is reality, not a Disney movie, and thus I must communicate all my needs including what makes me feel more cared for and loved.

You may be thinking... Well, that takes the spark out of the relationship or it isn't real if I have to tell them... I definitely can relate to those thoughts and feelings. But even Albert Einstein didn't know every single thing there is to know in the world. None of us are excellent in every single aspect of life. So, extending this level of grace and being willing to get vulnerable with your loved one could actually help them love you even more and you feel their love even more.

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At the end of the day, these are just words written by a girl who now enjoys communicating more than having unmet expectations. I hope you are willing to consider what I've written here today.