Tell your man what you need!

Tell your man what you need!

| Kahdija Imari

One day while scrolling social media, I came across a video of Saweetie and Quavo.

If you don’t recognize these names, both people are in the music industry and they are also a couple

 


 

If you'd like to watch my commentary instead of reading, click here to watch the video I made and fast forward to time stamp 07:06 to hop right into the topic!

I know, I know did a lot of rambling this morning 😬... but there is some good stuff in there 😅

 


 

In the video of Saweetie and Quavo, you see Saweetie saying, "If he's not getting you a Birkin, if he's not paying for your bills then throw *him back to the streets. Okay!"

*I substituted the words she actually used for a more kid-friendly, all-inclusive word... "him" will do just fine.

You may deduce that by Birkin she meant a Birkin bag, as in the purse line by Hermes that is waaaaaaay out of my price range.

And if you watch the video, you will also notice, that just after Saweetie leaves the frame, Quavo is seen approaching the camera and shrugging his shoulders.

I took his shoulder shrug to mean, "Hey, it is what it is... that's still my girl..." type of vibes.

Whether he spoils here with Birkin bags or not isn't what I'd like to get into.

Nor do I really care to chat about whether she is telling women to break up with their boyfriends and hubbies who can't pay their bills and also afford to buy them a 3+ thousand dollar purse.

I actually want to touch on something that most of us need to work on... communication! 

Now, I am of the opinion that couples should talk about their finances openly or a least discuss and build a strategy for how finances will be coordinated amongst the two.

But at the end of the day, you must first discover what you want and need financially and then work to communicate those things to your partner.

Figuring out what you need and want is a personal thing.

You may be able to receive guidance on finding it, but ultimately you have to soul search, analyze your past behaviors, compare it to how you feel now, and make some very important decisions within yourself.

Communication, however, can surely be learned and developed.

How many times do you actually recall directly communicating your expectations to your significant other?

Did you just say, "[insert your boo's name] should already know?"

Well, I'm here to tell you that honey you're dreaming.

Get out of your fantasy world and come back to mother Earth.

Everyone isn't good at picking up on hints (myself included). And you would only know they picked up on the hint once they finally do what you have been willing them to do (assuming it wasn't a singular random coincidence).

So much time and heartache can be saved on your part by just sitting down and having the talk.

You would know that they are aware of something being off or needs to be fixed and your partner would now know that something was bothering you and they will likely be able to assist in resolving the situation.

Communicating your needs and expectations will not always be easy.

We honestly would all be winning if it was ever easy to communicate to begin with!

But this challenge or the fear of beginning it, mustn't stop you from doing it! 

And if you expect your new boo or your old boo to pay your bills and you aren't currently living together... you might have to have that conversation with him, her, or them.

Yes, this is an across-the-board conversation! 

Him, her, and them should all know what they are getting into when they get you as a mate!!

It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is, you must learn to embrace patience and show yourself some grace, so you can overcome the hurdle of communicating your wants, needs, hopes, desires, and expectations to your partner.

If you don't have a problem with communicating hard topics or talking finances with your mate... well, this post is not for you 😅 but thank you for stopping by anyway and I apologize for taking up 2-3 minutes of your time 😊

I can only hope you got something out of it, whether a chuckle or a new blog to tune in to 😁

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This blog post has hyperlinks. I was not paid to write my opinion, add these links, nor was I paid to create the video embedded on this page.