I'm Consciously Walking Toward the Future Me

I'm Consciously Walking Toward the Future Me

| Kahdija Imari

I'm not sure if many people do this nowadays... but I am.

I am determined to become who I feel led to become.

And I realize I won't get there by avoiding self-confrontation 👀

I see my future self as being bold, confident, unapologetically expressive, and able to fully love myself as much as I want others to love me.

If I want my friends to hold me accountable, I need to be able to hold myself accountable.

If I want to marry a man that wines and dines me, I need to be able to wine, dine, and pamper myself.

I can only accept what I have already accepted.

So, if I'm used to being mistreated and devalued, I know exactly how to boldly welcome this behavior from each new partner that enters my life. 

And when someone new... someone who treats me well and values me like never before enters my life... I won't recognize it... because I'm not accustomed to it.

You see, we tend to shun things that are foreign to us.  We push them away because they are so different... when really, we simply may not understand them fully.

I have seen this pattern happen in my life in relationship after relationship (or situationship as we now call them).

Well, I say no more. 

No to being mistreated.

No to being devalued. 

No to being disrespected.

No to being unloved.

No to being manipulated.

 

No to what others want from me that I don't already want for myself. 

I am on a journey to continually say yes to myself.

And I have begun by having transparent self-communication...

Being honest with myself has led to me meeting other people who also are honest with themselves...

And now they are able to be honest with me... and I them...

This journey is beautiful.

This journey is freeing.

This journey is me... and I am learning to accept me... flaws and all.

Tags: Reflections